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Islam places great emphasis on choosing the right friends in life. For this purpose, when trying to set the criterion for assessing the real worth of a friend, a Muslim is expected to employ his sound judgment and free-from-emotions reasoning. One must know his/her inadequacies and weak points, his/her ideas, feelings, likes and dislikes, and infirmities. Ultimately, one must discover the human merits and desirable qualities that a friend carries in the depth of his/her spirit so that one may benefit from his/her outstanding virtues [1].
Therefore, for the great good or bad influences friends have on the character and personality of each other, it is important for every man of reason to choose friends that are characterized by good mannerism and behavior.
Meanwhile, in accordance with the sayings of the Prophet (PBUHH) and his Ahl al-Bayt (AS), a Muslim must avoid certain sets of people and not take them as friends: the transgressors, hypocrites, liars, foolish, sinful, stingy, and those who are disregardful to their relatives. Similarly, non-Muslims should not be taken as intimate friends or allies [2].
Characteristics of a good friend
In Islam, the following are some of the characteristics to be looked for in a friend:
1. Intelligence
2. Faith
3. Honesty
4. Uprightness and well mannerism
Rights of a friend
In accordance with some narrations (Hadiths), [3] friendship entails mutual trust and certain duties. The one who observes them is a true friend while one who breaches them is unworthy of friendship. Here are some of the rights of friends:
- Respecting them and their personality
- Giving material support to them in their hour of need
- Advising them when they need your advice
- Forgiving their shortcomings
- Concealing their lapses and faults from others
- Visiting them when they are sick
- Participating in their funeral after their death
Conclusion
Without any doubt, friends are integral parts of our social life and it is important that one should be selective when choosing companions and friends. It is on this basis that Islam teaches Muslims to exercise caution when making friends. This is because immoderation in this regard may lead to deplorable consequences and bring regret and pain.
References:
[1] Refer to: Mujtaba Musavi Lari, Ethics and Spiritual growth, P. 211.
[2] (3: 28); (4: 144); (5: 51); (9: 23) etc.
[3] Imam Ali Zayn al-Abideen, Treatise on Rights, Right 33 (The right of the companion)